Stop thinking and Start doing

Para de pensar y empieza a hacer…

I made the decision to write in this blog and get something out every Thursday.  So if this sucks today, then read the title! lol… I just put the fingers to the letters.

I recently suffered a mini depression. I slept A LOT! Procrastinated even more, watching hours of senseless television, day drinking and partaking.  Not being able to sleep at night because I had wasted my days, gone to work at the bar, and then spent the late night criticizing myself, feeling bad, making excuses, and then making false promises to myself to wake up and "get it done" tomorrow.  But, it was a vicious down cycle day after day. Luckily, I was able to recognize it really early this time, 2 weeks. The faster I can recognize something is wrong, the faster I can feel better.

After so many years of being afraid of my depression, I am finally feeling the strength to fight back.  Gonna keep going in this direction.  Up and up.

Practice my keyboard, train capoeira, make and sell creations, love those around me and in my life, dance, play, and work hard!

The sun shines beautifully in Southern California and I am lucky to wake up almost every morning to that!

Until next time, be good.

Lesson 1. Don't take what is not yours!

So, I accidentally ate a Pot cookie while at work last night…

Here I am working as a bartender, just another normal day, serving up the yummiest beers in town and hanging with some friends that came in for Happy Hour.  Now just so you know, us bartenders always like to bring candy, snacks, gum, munchies, sweets to keep us going during our shift!  We usually put them in the cabinet underneath the register.  So, my ass opens the cabinets and notices some cookies wrapped in Valentines Day hearts wrapping.  I thought, "well valentines was a lil while ago," so … "yay cookies!!!"  "num nam num nam!!!"

… Dah dah duuuuh!!!!

I ate half of one and that starting thinking… wait I know that flavor, I think there's ganja in that.  So, I ask my coworker who had just came in earlier, "Did you bring those cookies?" -knowing that he has been known to bring in "happy tea" or "happy hot chocolate".  And he was like "what cookies?" I showed him as I said, "sh*****t smell these, do they smell like weed?" He goes, "no you're crazy"…

So I ate the WHOLE cookie…  and it was AAAALLLLLL downhill from there!

I later found out that another coworker had brought those in and left them there… F-ing A**hole!!!!

And then later later read the bag and saw one dosage is 1/2 a cookie!

So, because he made my eyes go bloodshot and get all squinty-like, I had the munchies like nobody's business, I forgot almost every single order, I walked around like a whirlwind behind the bar crashing into everything and then needed a nap like no other!!!!!… I took the other 2 cookies home with me to eat at a sensible time!!!

I did survive, but the life lesson learned here… Don't take or eat what's not yours, before asking!!!

(what are we? Still children?…. yes! at 32 years old!!!!)

Love Honestly

Lol and now I have stage fright! I've always written my stories with the idea that someone... Anyone would read them, and now... I have stage fright! That's the way (my) life seems to work.
Anyway, the other night I was having these thoughts...

I can't sleep, so I might as well write.
Sometimes relationships are so frustrating!! It's like, you love the person like crazy like your head is way up in the the happy, puffy, marshmallow clouds and then all of sudden a thunder and lightning storm hits and poof that cloud is gone!! I really don't know how people manage to stay in relationships "forever" ... It just seems like and most likely is sooo much freaking work! Especially when we want to just act how we want to act and do what we want to do, without having to worry about someone else all the time.  But, I guess if your not willing to do that, then really you should just be alone. Easier said than done though.
-And don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my partner in crime and I am often in those puffy clouds, but we are both also human.

You gotta start somewhere

I have traveled all over the world, worked in a lot of different situations, interacted with all kinds of people.  I've been successful, I've failed (many times), I've loved and hated, I've believed in God and believed there is no God.  I change my look and my mind often. I have been so happy I could die, I've been so depressed I could die. There are a lot of lessons that I have learned along the way and so many funny stories! I've always wanted to share them, so I figure there is no better time than now!